When I get mad it's like a raging storm in my heart. I become completely silent, and my body starts to shake. And I get in hyperfocus. I grew up in a very violent environment, where I saw a lot of violence. Later I used a lot of violence myself. For me it was the way life was. I never learned another way of living life. 

@ 1 point in life, when I was 18, I looked in the mirror and I remember I was really ashamed of the person I had become. I realized I was human in name, not in being. From that moment I made a promise to change my ways. To not only work on myself but also help others on their path. I started meditating & boxing. Also talking to people I trust helps me to put things in perspective. Recently, becoming a father made me think about my own childhood. It first made me mad, but now I am at peace with it, and I try to act like I want to be treated. Workout and meditation still help to bring my energy to the right temperature. And to transform my anger into something useful. 

My anger is about setting boundaries. I am very sensitive to injustice. Stealing, lying, cheating really gets me fired up. So, if I can respect my own boundaries, people can see this and already have a clue that such behavior doesn't have anything to do with who I want to be in life. Also, it makes me realize that everybody makes their own choices. But if I don't feed such behavior, it doesn't have an effect on me.

I started to love and respect myself and others again. I also feel calmer and more self-assured because everything I do is with consciousness and with my heart. Other people started to trust me again and shared their stories with me. People now tell me they become calm just by my presence. They see me as an inspiration, because of the point I came from and where I stand today. 

Nephilim - fallen angel